Gale force winds. Rain. Are you kidding me? This crappy weather has been going on since before Christmas.
Worked on the deck all stinkin’ day. Still not done. Probably gonna run out of deck screws and lumber.
Tag Archives: frustration
DAY LVIII
I had a dentist appointment at 11:00 a.m.
The rest of the day I moped around. Very depressed. Very tired. Slept for two solid hours in the afternoon.
My weight is up, despite having resumed jogging during my sojourn on the Big Island. I’m at 207 pounds.
I am SO TIRED of people telling me how to do the deck project. Neighbor guys keep offering their “advice” as to what materials I should use, what tools I should use, how I should put things together, why what I’m doing isn’t right, how it would be so much faster if I did it this way or used these tools or… gah!
The stupid stairs I built leading down to the beach last summer, the ones I cobbled together out of cast-off and leftover lumber using my electric drill and a cheap Black & Decker jig saw, survived their first TOTAL INUNDATION by the ocean last week. They didn’t budge an inch. The surf came up into the yard, over the steps. They’re still fine.
The deck will be the same way. It’s an OLD DECK. It was built fifty years ago. It was built totally “wrong” by today’s standards –– the joists are spaced fifty-one inches apart, there are no support piers under the 8-foot span, and even though most of the supports are badly rotted and termite-damaged, it’s still holding together. I’m putting it back together “wrong” as well, making it up as I go, patching the rotted joists using salvaged 2×4 lumber from the old deck top. All I have to work with is a jig saw and an electric drill. It’s slow, but it’s going to work. What I don’t have is a ton of money. I’m tapped out after buying deck screws and 2×4 stud grade lumber. I can’t afford TREX® planking for the deck. I’m not going to buy, or fuss around with, hidden deck fasteners. I’m not going to buy plywood at fifty dollars a sheet. I’m not going to replace all the 2×6 and 4×6 support beams with new lumber. Sure, if I could afford all that stuff, I would. If I could afford new power tools I’d have a miter saw and the job would be done hours more quickly.
It’s gonna look adequate and it’s gonna function adequately.
Or it would, if I finish it. Right now there’s a big, ugly hole full of rotten wood and rusty nails in front of my house. Since everybody else seems to know how to do things better than I do, maybe I should just let somebody else finish it.
DAY SIXTY: Hopeless
I’m feeling very much as though all my efforts toward accomplishing either cleaning out the house, listing the house for sale, paying off debts, or losing weight and improving my health and fitness are hopeless and pointless.
In addition to my car not running well enough to drive to work, my computer is almost non-functional at this point. The USB ports barely work – plugs require considerable jiggling to make contact. The built-in CD drive does not work. The hard drive often will not power up after the machine is shut down, so I now leave the computer turned on all the time. The trackpad is becoming unresponsive to clicking.
I do not have the money or the credit to replace either the car or the computer at this point.
So what am I gonna do about any of this? Whine? Okay, yeah, for sure. But that won’t fix anything. What else can I do? I dunno, but when I figure it out I’ll let you know. ‘Cuz, y’know, that’s basically what this blog is supposed to be about – figuring out how to do stuff.
DAY FIFTY-SEVEN: Friday
I think I’m mostly over my cold. I still have a trace of a residual cough, and I’m quite tired by the end of each day.
Tonight I shall be trying to sort and price items for the yard sale that we hope to hold tomorrow. Of course the weather is looking damp.
Again, I am feeling extremely frustrated because of the endless amount of stuff I have accumulated, and the way that no matter how much I think I have removed, the room still seems cluttered to the point of being impassible. I had to move a half-dozen boxes and bags to access the computer to type this post.
DAY THIRTY-FIVE: Trees, Forest, and All That Jazz
I was thinking today, while sitting in traffic on the way to work, that part of my frustration is that I am usually allowing the individual trees to block my view of the forest; that is, I’m getting so hung up on and overwhelmed by the small tasks and steps that I forget to keep the broader goal in mind.
I hope to fell a few mighty oaks here over the next few days, during the upcoming three-day weekend away from work, which I’m hoping will help open up the vista a bit.
DAY THIRTY-FOUR: Another Nail
Yet another reason I have a “100 Days” plan to change my life and change my job: at today’s faculty meeting, the boss told us that the school has no extra money, so for the sake of the “core professionalism” category of our employee evaluation, we should sign up to either bring food or snacks or contribute money to a fund to provide refreshments for the Western Association of Schools and Colleges (WASC) observation team who will be visiting our school this coming February. “The sign-up sheet will be posted in the office.”
Yes, I am now required as part of my job duties to provide munchies for a highly compensated team of contracted consultants Continue reading DAY THIRTY-FOUR: Another Nail
DAY THIRTY-THREE: Ants in the Belfry
After work I fussed around trying to patch a small area of decaying trim in the bathroom. It’s, like, a six inch long section. Considering my current rate of progress on house projects, by the time I complete even the most basic of necessary cosmetic repairs I will need to start over from the beginning! I cannot visualize this house ever being ready to invite a real estate agent in to get a market appraisal.
Additionally, of course, there’s the clutter, the stuff, the crap with which we have filled our living space. Continue reading DAY THIRTY-THREE: Ants in the Belfry
DAY THIRTY-TWO: Decluttering is a Cluttery Business
Monday. 5:00 a.m. wakeup time. Not fun. In fact, the 5:00 a.m. wakeup time is going to drive me to suicide one of these days. I hate it that much. And I am not exaggerating.
I sold two items on eBay yesterday. One of the buyers paid today, which meant that after work I wanted to print out a shipping label and pack up the item for mailing. Sounds easy enough. But this is me we’re talking about – well, that I’m talking about and you’re reading about – so nothing is ever easy. Continue reading DAY THIRTY-TWO: Decluttering is a Cluttery Business
DAY THIRTY: A Rough Start
I woke up feeling irritable, frustrated, and depressed and the feelings just got worse as the morning progressed. I started to jot down a list of things to accomplish this weekend. I expected the list to have three or so things on it. Quickly it expanded to over twenty “must do” items.
DAY TWENTY-FOUR: I Wuz Framed!
I’m trying to get the house fixed up and cleaned up; instead, I’m getting fed up with how long it’s taking. Continue reading DAY TWENTY-FOUR: I Wuz Framed!