I find myself overwhelmed by waves of despair and a sense of futility as I try to sort through all my junk. Hours of effort today with no visible result, other than more clutter and confusion and chaos.

I’m feeling fat and tired and old.

Walked 10 kilometers today. Saw several cars parked where the local ultra-runners gather to practice on “Long Road,” the route of the Peacock 100 race that’s coming up next month. Seeing stickers on the cars promoting various 100k and even a 1000k stage race and slogans like “Sea Level is for Sissies” left me feeling ever fatter and older and more tired as I waddled along at a slow walking pace.

My work trousers barely fit around the waistline.